What would you do with your life today if you chose to live? I am aware that we are all alive and breathing, but are we actually living? Are we as human beings serving our true purpose? Are we even aware of what our true purpose is? Most of us just let days pass and wait for it to magically improve. We want so much but do so little about it because we don’t think that we are capable of greatness. Fear and scarcity has subdued our minds, and has revealed itself through our actions, and the way we choose to live. When will it be your time? When will everyone see the person you were really meant to be?
Self-acceptance and self-love was a difficult thing to come to terms with. I was bullied all throughout my school years, from grade school to high school because I was bigger than everyone else. It was an unfair ordeal I went through and sadly got used to. It was everything from derogatory remarks, laughing as I walked pass, and sometimes even ended in physical altercations. My mom always told me to defend myself, and we’ve had countless conversations about standing against bullies but it never seemed to ease my mind. I tried to be strong but somehow I always seemed to breakdown. If it wasn’t in front of people, it was in the school bathroom, or in my bed crying myself to sleep. The damage another person’s word can do to your mind is inconceivable.
Growing into an adult I hadn’t realized that I’d become my own bully. I would be in constant conversation of I can’t, I won’t , I’m too big for this, I’m too big for that. I began to think I was incapable of everything because of my weight. I ruined many relationships because I had such hatred in my heart. I was so angry and never understood why until now. I blamed myself and felt unworthy. All those years of constant torture had been imprinted in my brain, and now I had let my weight define me. I had let others define me!
I have come a very long way in life and, at the age of 25 I am choosing to finally live and be happy. I am finally choosing me! I have a new-found Love for self that will not be broken by anyone’s hurtful, and disrespectful remarks. I will not breakdown, I will breakthrough. I choose now to live in constant conversation of self-gratification and ultimate self-celebration. When you decide to love yourself, you open up a path to limitless opportunities and have now created a space only you can control. You are free to be, and you are free to be amazing. I am a woman with curves all over my body. I will be embrace, and it will shine all throughout my face. I am beautiful, I am me, I am Nina!